Funny Irish Quotes:
Show Your Love of Irish Humor!

Funny Irish quotes are everywhere! There are funny quotes by Irish people, funny quotes about Ireland, funny quotes about being Irish...

Funny Irish Quotes.  Kiss Me I'm Irish!


Any Irish themed party can be made even better by adding a few funny quotes to the invitation, to the program or menu, or to the party favors... the possibilities are endless! 

Here are some funny quotes from Ireland that might strike your fancy.

Funny Irish Quotes About Drinking...

You don't need to look very far for our first topic - the subject of drink and drinking is near to any true Irishman or woman's heart.  Here are a few funny Irish quotes that capture that spirit -


“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”

- Alex Levin


“That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.”

- Kevin Hearne, Hammered


“I only drink on two occasions -- when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.”

- Brendan Behan


“When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.”

- J. P. Dunleavy


“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven.”

- Anonymous

Funny Quotes About Ireland

Everybody seems to have something funny to say about Ireland or being Irish.  Sometimes they are actually Irish people... sometimes not!  Here are a few examples:


“Ireland is where strange tales begin & happy endings are possible.”

- Charles Haughey


“When I came back to Dublin I was court-martialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.”

- Brendan Behan


I hope... that I do not sound anti-British. It is impossible not to admire a people who gave up India and held on to Northern Ireland. That shows a truly Celtic sense of humor.”

- John Dominic Crossan


“One wonders in this place, why anyone is left in Dublin, or London, or Paris where it would be better, one would think to live in a tent or hut, with this magnificent sea and sky, and to breathe this wonderful air which is like wine in one's teeth.”

- J. M. Synge


"We have found the Irish to be somewhat odd. They refuse to be English."

- Winston Churchill


"It's summertime in Ireland when the rain grows warmer."

- Hal Roach


"(The Irish are) one race for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever..."

- Sigmund Freud


"I started with rock n' roll and...then started to take it apart like a child with a toy and I saw blues and country...Then American music...and (ended up in) Scotland and Ireland..."

- Elvis Costello


"I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. Whenever I come to Ireland I get a tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong."

- Billy Connely, Scottish Actor


Four Food Groups Quote

Funny Quotes by Irish People...

“Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”

- George Bernard Shaw


“I can resist everything but temptation.”

- Oscar Wilde


“There are no strangers here, only friends that have not yet met.”

- William Butler Yeats


"Glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall."

- Oliver Goldsmith


"Some see things as they are and say - why? I see things that aren't and say - why not?"

- George Bernard Shaw


"I frequently quote myself, which I find adds spice to my own conversation."

- George Bernard Shaw


"I often think, "I wish I had done that," only to find out later that I already have." (A drinking reference :-)

- Richard Harris


"I believe in blessings in disguise. But I prefer them out of disguise when I am the the the one that is blessed..."

- Robert Lynd


"I only drink on two occasions ... only when I am thirsty and only when I am not thirsty."

- Brendan Behan


"Be yourself - everyone else is already taken."

- Oscar Wilde


Want More Irish Sayings?

It is probably obvious - at Irish Expressions, we love Irish wit and wisdom!  Knowing the perfect Irish 'thing to say' on any occasion gives us a deeper sense of connection with Ireland, wherever in the world we happen to be!

To help you build your own personal Irish vocabulary, we have over the years created many downloadable, share-able Irish games, puzzles, recipes, songbooks, quizzes, and much, much more.

Want them right now?  Keep reading to learn about "Your Irish Expressions Playbook."

What's Next?

Sharing funny quotes with Irish themes is a fun way to express your Irish side, during any Irish-themed occasion.

For more information of this type, you may want to pay a visit to our main section on Irish Sayings here!

And for the romantics among you, have a look at Irish Love Quotes here.

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More Fun With Irish Expressions

Congratulations on learning more about the Emerald Isle and discovering what we like to call your "Irish Side."  You may be thinking "I'd love to actually VISIT Ireland but that's really not in the cards right now.  What am I supposed to do with the stuff I just learned?"

Well never fear!  Since 2009 we have collected all of the best printable, shareable resources we could find, to help you put your new knowledge of Ireland to good use.  We've put them all together in a single download we call "Your Irish Expressions Playbook," which contains over 50 pages of games, puzzles, recipes, songbooks, quizzes, travel guides and much, much more.

Purchase them ALL for one small price, print as many copies as you like and share them with your friends - with no limitations!   But order soon - we are already adding to the Playbook for future editions and this price will not last long. 

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